Only Thing On My Mind
by disconnectedsoul
Summary: Finn's got the perfect, gorgeous, cheerleader girlfriend but is starting to realize that's not really what he wants. Finn/Rachel *permanent hiatus*
1. Prologue: God I Hate Rachel Berry

**Author's Note: I do not own anything affiliated w/ Glee.** **Enjoy and Review!**

There was something in her eyes, something Finn couldn't quite place but recognized the moment his girlfriend had let him in the door. They had locked gazes for a moment, long enough for him to see the difference, before Quinn was taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to her bedroom.

As she shut the door behind them, Finn sat at the foot of her bed and let his backpack slide off his shoulder. Unzipping the first pocket he pulled out his notebook and geometry text book.

From across the room Quinn shook her head. "Put the book down Finn" she said firmly.

"But aren't we gonna study for…" He was swiftly cut off as Quinn shot across the room at light speed, tackling his body as she silenced him with her lips. Pushing them both back onto the bed she straddled his hips, her cheerleading outfit riding dangerously up her thighs as she buried her hands in Finn's hair. Suddenly her tongue was in his mouth and the taste of minty winterfresh gum assaulted his taste buds.

Finn was so shocked by his girlfriend's actions all he could manage to do was kiss her back. He amused himself with the thought that, if someone were to barge in on them, it probably looked like Quinn was making out with a mannequin.

The funny thing was that his temporary shock didn't seem to deter Quinn in the least. Her hands were all over him, fingers leaving hot trails of passion in their wake as they explored the contours of his face and the grooves his muscles made against his skin. One of her hands continued past his abdomen all the way to the zipper of his jeans where it stopped. Finn gasped loudly, his eyes practically popping out of their sockets as he tried to wrap his head around just exactly what was happening.

Finally, breaking the kiss, Quinn looked down at him with hooded eyes and a mischievous smile. "I want you, Finn" she said, her voice low and sexy. "Please, let me make you feel good."

Suddenly he understood what the look in her eyes was. Lust. Pure, teenaged lust.

And so there he was, Finn Hudson with his cheerleader girlfriend, Quinn Fabray, the most popular girl in school. In her room. On her bed. With her straddling him. Hand on the zipper to his jeans. Practically begging him to have sex with her.

All of that and there was only one thought on his mind.

_God I hate Rachel Berry._


	2. Running Away

**Author's Note: Sorry the first chapter was so short…I just wanted to get something started. Enjoy and Review!**

Finn stared up at Quinn, his mouth slightly ajar, having no idea what to say. What was a person supposed to say when a beautiful girl told you they wanted you? Should he say thank you? Give her a complement in return? Smile and nod like an idiot? Finn resolved to reaching up and pulling her down into a kiss to buy himself a little time.

A few months ago, this would have been his lucky day, probably the best one of his life to date. But a few months ago he was an entirely different person.

A few months ago he was Finn Hudson, star football player, jock to the core. The only singing he did was in the locker room showers. Now he was singing on stage almost every day after school. A few months ago he was throwing kids, losers, into dumpsters. Now he was roped in as one of them, a member of the Glee club. A few months ago, Rachel Berry didn't even make a blip on his radar. Now…ugh, he could barely stand to think about it and had a hard time admitting the truth, even to himself.

He rolled Quinn over so that he was on top and his hands went to her breasts, massaging them through her uniform top. Quinn arched her back into his hands, closing her eyes and letting out a deep moan that resonated against Finn's lips. He nipped lightly at her neck before finding her pulse point and sucking it ravenously. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him as close as humanly possible. "Oh God, Finn! Don't stop. Don't stop."

He just wished she would shut up. It was a familiar thought that had slowly been drilling its way to the center of his thoughts for a while now.

Here were the facts. Finn wasn't stupid. Or at least, not that stupid. Quinn Fabray was hot. Really hot. Any red-blooded male could see that. But, the thing was, that beyond being really hot, she had almost nothing to offer.

When they had first started dating, Finn had hoped to uncover an interesting, thoughtful personality beneath that cheerleading uniform…among other attributes. And he had looked. He had searched to the very depths and still come up with absolutely nothing. She was vapid, shallow, annoying and kind of a raving bitch to almost everyone in school. In fact, the only reason they were still together was because, as terrible as she was, Finn couldn't bring himself to hurt her.

Finn's hands toyed with the hem of Quinn's shirt before swiftly removing it, tossing it to the floor. He kissed the newly exposed skin before returning to her lips once more. Plunging his tongue into her mouth, he buried his hands in her long, blonde hair, pressing one of his legs between hers and pushing lightly against her center. Quinn's thighs bucked against him urgently.

She broke the kiss and pressed her mouth gently to his ear. "I want you so badly, Finn. Take off your shirt" she whispered.

Finn's eyebrows creased. Her words reminded him of bad porn dialogue. None of it felt real or even remotely genuine. He wondered where this sudden desire for him had come from. The last time he checked, she had been perfectly ok with PG-rated action and leaving him completely high and dry.

Sitting up, Finn rested back on his haunches. He pulled his shirt up over his head and let it fall at his side. Looking down at Quinn, he studied her for a moment. She was looking at him like he was the best looking meal she that she had ever seen and had the intentions of devouring him in ten seconds flat.

He stared into her cool blue eyes and wished that they weren't blue at all but a deep chocolate brown. And he wished that their hair was somehow miraculously a gorgeous chestnut brown.

No. No. Finn tried to erase the thought from his mind but it was too late. He could pretend his entire life but there was no use denying what he truly wanted.

"Uggh…Rachel…" He mumbled in complete irritation.

"What?" Quinn asked, her eyebrows raising.

Finn shook his head and swallowed hard, mentally slapping himself for being such a complete idiot. "Nothing, nothing…I just…I was just…" He couldn't think of any plausible excuse.

"Whatever, just come here" Quinn said, pulling him back on top of her.

They kissed again but now it felt like torture. All Finn could think about was Rachel. When he closed his eyes he could see her in his mind, like her picture was taped to the back of his eyelids.

Suddenly Quinn tasted completely disgusting and he wanted to be anywhere but in a room with her.

For a moment he entertained the idea of biting the bullet. He would have sex with Quinn and maybe, just maybe, doing that would kill the whole Rachel thing. Because when he really thought about it, there was nothing worse for him than liking Rachel Berry. Nothing good would come out of it.

And anyways, it was just a fleeting crush. Who even knows why. Probably just his mind playing a trick on him.

Yes, having sex with Quinn was definitely his best option.

But as her fingers strayed to his belt buckle Finn jerked away from her. "Wait Quinn."

"What now?" She asked, obviously annoyed.

"I just…" He locked eyes with her. Quinn Fabray. Suddenly she wasn't even all that pretty anymore. He closed his eyes for a moment and saw Rachel again.

He couldn't do it. It was just impossible. Finn realized that if this was the way things were going to be then he'd rather spend the rest of his life with his eyes closed. "I can't Quinn, I just can't."

Finn bolted from the room. He didn't even have a shirt on, let alone the rest of his stuff but he just didn't care. Everything just felt like too much. He didn't want Quinn, he didn't want to want Rachel but he did.

Bursting out her front door, Finn ran at full speed down the road with no idea where he was going but no intentions of slowing down.

He ran until it hurt to breathe, collapsing on cool grass and closing his eyes while he caught his breath. Finn tried to make sense of what had just happened but couldn't. He had probably ruined everything. Quinn would turn everyone in school against him. It would be complete hell.

Opening his eyes, Finn took a moment to gaze up at the stars. When was the last time he had even bothered to look up at the sky? He couldn't remember. They really were beautiful.

Suddenly it occurred to him. He would still have Glee Club. They wouldn't turn on him. Rachel wouldn't turn on him. Would she? He sighed deeply, standing up and shivering as a cool breeze swept across his bare torso.

Finn resolved to go home and get some sleep. Maybe things would become more clear in the morning. As he walked home, a car he didn't recognize drove past. It stopped a few feet in front of him and as he walked up to it, the passenger window rolled down.

"Finn?"

The familiar voice made him stop. Turning he looked into the car and saw the last person he needed to see right now. Or maybe she was the only person that could make things clear again. Either way, she had him scared shitless.

"Rachel…"


	3. No Happy Ending

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter! Thank you for all of the awesome reviews, they really motivate me to write more, you guys are awesome! Enjoy and review!**

Finn swallowed hard as he used every ounce of self restraint his body possessed to keep his eyes trained on the dashboard of the car. But every so often he would slip up and glance over at the brunette sitting next to him.

Rachel hadn't said anything besides offering him a ride home. He wondered what she was thinking and wished that being in close proximity to her didn't make him so tongue-tied so that he could properly explain himself.

But then again, what would he even say? I was just about to have sex with my girlfriend but I bolted because I couldn't stop wishing that she was you. Yeah, that would probably go over real well.

His eyes went to her small hands, gripping the steering wheel tight. She was so concentrated, so dedicated to putting her best efforts into everything that she did. Finn admired that about her.

"So" he finally managed to spit out.

"So" she echoed, eyes still trained on the road.

"Aren't you going to ask what I was doing out so late?" Finn shifted his body so that he was completely turned towards her.

"I guess that would be a logical question, wouldn't it. Alright. So, Finn, what exactly were you doing walking around at 9:30 on a school night? Oh and a better question would be how you managed to…misplace your shirt."

"Uh…" He was an idiot. Why would he ever encourage her to ask questions that he really didn't want to give up answers to? "Well, what are you doing driving around at 9:30 on a school night?"

It was a weak ploy to change the subject but it was all he had. Rachel's brow furrowed in obvious annoyance. For the briefest moment one of her hands left the steering wheel, jerking towards the backseat. Finn looked to find a CVS bag sitting in the middle passenger seat. "My dad just asked me to pick some stuff up at the drug store."

"Oh" he said, lamely.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, Finn wishing more than anything that he could have grabbed his shirt back at Quinn's so he didn't feel like such an ass. Suddenly Rachel stopped the car. The abrupt motions of her action caused Finn to jerk forward in his seat and he reached out to the dashboard to steady himself. He turned to Rachel, looking confused.

"Sorry!" Rachel exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Sorry." The second time she spoke was softer as though she was speaking more to herself.

"Is something wrong? Did I do something?" Finn scratched his head, retracing the details of the car ride in his mind to figure out what he had done to upset her.

"You were with Quinn tonight, weren't you?" Her voice so quiet and she was looking down at her hands, wringing them together self-consciously.

"What? Uh…yeah I was…." He shifted uncomfortably, pulling at his seatbelt.

"Did you guys get in a fight or something?"

"I guess you could call it that."

"What was the fight about?"

Finn looked at her. He gazed into her large brown eyes, an aching bout of desire twisting at his insides. He traced her perfectly pink lips in his mind, positive that they were the softest thing the world had to offer.

Rachel began to blush under his intense gaze and Finn suddenly realized what he was doing, shaking his head slightly as he turned away from her. "Uh…something stupid. I can't even remember, really. We fight a lot."

The last statement was true, at least. They did fight a lot. Quinn was very forceful about having things her way and while Finn was mostly alright with that, there were times where he just couldn't take it.

"Oh" was all she said. Rachel started the car and they began to drive in silence once more.

"This is me, right up here on the left" Finn said, pointing to his modest looking home.

Rachel brought the car to a slow stop. Both of them sat in the car for a moment, not sure of what exactly to say to the other.

"Well thanks for…"

"I guess this is…"

Realizing they had spoke at the same time, both stopped talking abruptly and then laughed.

"Really though Rachel, thank you for the ride." Finn smiled at her genuinely.

"It's no problem Finn, anytime." And she smiled back at him.

Finn wished he saw her smile like that more often. It was such a nice smile, the type that he could easily lose himself in.

Before his brain could register what he was doing, Finn had leaned over the middle of the car. He and Rachel were now only inches apart and her smile was slowly dissolving as she stared intently back at him.

He could feel the heat radiating from her skin; smell the sweet scent of her strawberry shampoo. It was too much. There was no way he could possibly go any longer without kissing her. It would kill him.

There lips met tenderly and it was like an electric shock had run through Finn's entire body. Her lips were softer than he ever could have imagined. He deepened the kiss, feeling as though he just couldn't get enough of her. As his hand reached out to touch her face, suddenly he realized what he was doing.

She seemed to realize too and he felt her body tense beneath him. Finn practically threw himself backwards to the other side of the car, blushing furiously. Shyly his eyes met hers.

A hand was at her mouth, fingers delicately tracing her lips as her eyes met his in shock. "W-what…" Rachel couldn't even form a complete sentence.

"I-I…" Neither could he.

They stared at each other for a moment, the tension in the small car coming to a steady boil.

Finn wanted to be brave. For once he wanted to reach out and take what he wanted. But the question remained, did he have it in himself to do it?

The facts were this. Rachel drove him completely crazy. Completely. He couldn't be without her but at the same time, could he ever really be with her?

School wouldn't accept them. His friends and the guys on the team would probably stop talking to him for dating the most unpopular girl in school. Glee Club would probably be pissed off. And then there was Quinn… Quinn fucking Fabray would be hell bent on making his life a living hell if she wasn't already hell bent on doing that after the stunt he had pulled with her.

So as Finn Hudson stared at the girl he was completely, hopelessly, stupidly in love with, he came to the conclusion that there was no happy ending no matter what he did.

"Fuck it." He said quietly.

"What did you just say?" Rachel asked, her eyebrows raising.

"I'm not sorry I kissed you Rachel." That was all he knew and all he cared to know at the moment. Finn opened the car door. "See you at school" he said before shutting it behind him and walking up his lawn.

He didn't dare look back at the car until long after the noisy motor had faded into the night. Finn stared at the spot where, just moments ago, he had kissed Rachel Berry. Sighing deeply he rummaged around his pants pockets for his keys.

Tomorrow would be a pretty interesting day. He would have to face Quinn…and Rachel, together, in the same place.

Finn groaned as he opened his front door. If he came back from school still breathing it would be a miracle.


	4. Truth and Consequence

**Author's Note: Read and Review!**

School had never looked as ominous as it did Thursday morning. Standing in front of the entrance, Finn chewed on his lip nervously. There was no way for him to anticipate what was going to happen on the other side of those doors and he was scared shitless.

Taking a deep breath he pushed open the door and stepped through the thresh hold.

And for a moment, one glorious, perfect moment, nothing had changed. There was no Rachel and there was no Quinn, just a bunch of oblivious high school kids mulling aimlessly about the hallways.

As Finn walked to his locker his heart beat slowly began to return to its normal rate. Leaning against the row of lockers he lazily twisted his combination. Maybe this day wouldn't be as bad as he had thought; after all, he was still alive. Maybe neither of them came to school. Maybe…

His thoughts were interrupted by the sensation of slight arms winding their way around his torso. Finn's entire body tensed.

"Hey babe."

Whipping around, he stared, completely dumbfounded, at Quinn who just smiled back at him. "Q-Quinn?"

"Hey" she stood on her tip-toes placing a soft kiss on his stunned lips. "You don't look so good babe. Maybe you should go to the infirmary or something."

"But…but…what about last night? I..."

"Last night? Oh yeah, you forgot your bag at my house." Quinn lifted up his backpack, handing it too him.

"Thanks." Finn had never been more confused in his entire life. What the hell was she playing at? Did she hit her head on the way to school and suddenly not remember what happened last night?

"So we're still on for the movies tomorrow night, right? You promised me we could see a chick flick and don't even try to go back on it."

"Uh…"

The bell rang, saving him from a reply.

"Ok I'll see you after class." Quinn kissed him quickly once more before beginning to walk away.

Finn shouldered his backpack, staring after her, mouth agape.

"Oh and Finn," Quinn turned around, unzipping her backpack and pulling something out. "You forgot this too."

She tossed it to him and as it fell into his hands Finn realized what it was. His shirt. The hallway was still busy enough that it was filled with people. Suddenly he felt random guys clapping him on the back and could hear a multitude of whispers and gasps. Horrified he turned around, trying to hastily stuff the shirt into his bag.

And then he was staring into a pair of eyes. Beautiful, brown, hurt eyes.

Rachel's eyes went from his to the shirt and then back up to him. "I hate you."

It was only a whisper on her lips but he was close enough to hear the venom behind the words and suddenly his heart was plummeting down his chest and he just wanted to die.

She stared at him for a moment longer before turning around and running away.

"Rachel, wait!"

Finn found himself running after her, pushing past people in his attempts to reach the blur of long brown hair that he could just make out in front of him. God she was fast.

"Rachel!" As he finally caught up to her, he reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me!"

"Wait, please, just listen to me, you've got it all wrong." The halls were almost empty now and it was just them two standing alone.

"I'm late for class Finn." Her voice was ice.

"Please." He pleaded with her.

Suddenly they could both hear footsteps coming around the corner of the hallway and the distinct sound of whistling.

"Finn it's Ms. Sylvester! If she catches us she'll give us both detention and you know how much she hates Glee, it'll probably be forever! I cannot have that happen, it'll ruin everything!"

"Shit." Thinking quickly, Finn pulled Rachel down the hallway and hastily opened the door to the supply closet, rushing in and shutting the door. Leaning against it he let out a long breath. "That was close." Looking up at Rachel he saw she had her hands crossed at her chest and it looked like she was trying to burn him alive with her eyes.

He was such a lost cause. Even when she hated him more than anything else on the planet and wouldn't think twice about murdering him, she was still the only girl he truly wanted.

"Rachel." He took a step forward only to have her take a step back. "Please, just listen to me. Let me tell you the truth."

"Riiight, the truth. Like last night was the truth. Am I just a game to you Finn? Someone you toy with just to get a laugh?" Her voice was raw with emotion and it killed him to know it was all his fault.

"No, of course not."

"So you slept with Quinn last night and then I came along and you thought you'd try to have your cake and eat it to."

"No and I don't think that saying even applies to the situation. Just let me tell you the truth, ok?"

"The truth, yeah, fine, tell me the truth Finn. This should be rich." She stepped towards him and they were so close. Even in the darkness of the supply closet she was beautiful. He could just make out the pout of her lips and the way her long hair fell past her shoulders in soft waves.

Finn swallowed hard. "I was with Quinn last night, I told you that. I was with her and she was kissing me and stuff but…the only person I could think about was you, Rachel. And it drove me crazy because you're the last person I should want. Quinn wanted to have sex last night and that's why my shirt was off but I bolted at the last minute because I couldn't get you out of my head. That's the truth. I promise."

Silence pressed against his ears. Shit. He had probably scared her off. What was he thinking, telling her all that? She probably thought he was a complete freak.

"I'm sorry" he said, defeated. "I'll just g-" he was cut off by the feel of her lips on his.

Rachel wrapped her arms around him, deepening the kiss and Finn's eyes widened as her tongue tentatively slipped into his mouth and gently lapped at his.

She was completely intoxicating. Finn had to break the kiss and shut his eyes for a moment to make the small room stop spinning. "So you believe me?" He asked, gasping for breath.

"Yes."

It was a simple, mono-syllabic answer but in that moment it was Finn's favorite world in the entire history of language. Pulling her close he kissed her, pressing her against the wall of the closet. His hands slipped under her shirt and he caressed the soft skin at her stomach.

Leaving her lips, he trailed kisses down her neck, sucking lightly at her pulse point. She moaned and the vibrations against his lips were possibly the most wonderful sensation he could ever remember feeling.

Her hands were at his chest now, the front of his t-shirt balled up in her fists and she pulled him as close as humanely possible.

Finn's hand slid further up her shirt, past her abdomen and over her ribcage. Slipping beneath her bra he touched her breast tenderly, willing himself not to fall apart on the spot. Her nipples hardened as his touch and her breathing became even more erratic.

"Finn…" Her voice was deep with lust and sound of it just made his pants tighter than they already were.

Rachel slowly lifted her arms, allowing Finn to pull off her shirt completely. Reaching around her body, Finn fumbled with the clasp to her bra before successfully unhooking it. His eyes returned to hers and he couldn't help but grin goofily in the darkness. Real life had never been this good.

He kissed her again, slow and deliberate, savoring the taste of her lips like fine wine.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door and Finn found himself ripped away from his fantastical reality.

The door opened and both of them shielded their eyes from the brightness of the hallway.

"Well, well, well. Look what we've got here."


	5. Break Ups and Makeouts

**Author's Note: Enjoy and Review!**

"Well, well, well. Look what we've got here."

Squinting, Finn strained his eyes to look at the person standing in front of them. "Puck?"

Puck laughed loudly. "How do you like my best Sylvester impression, Hudson?" He stopped laughing suddenly, doing a double take at Rachel. "Wow Berry, who knew you were actually hiding a decent rack under all that cable-knit?"

Finn stepped protectively in front of Rachel, shielding her from sight as she struggled to pull her clothes back on. "Shut up man" he said through gritted teeth. "And shut the God damned door."

"But if I do that I won't be able to enjoy the view. And it's a pretty ni-" Finn cut him off by pulling him roughly into the closet by the front of his shirt and shutting the door.

"What are you even doing Puck?"

"Easy man, I saw you going into the closet and wondered what sort of shenanigans you were getting into."

"You're an ass."

"Don't worry about it. I'm not gonna tell anyone you're banging Berry over there. No one would probably believe me anyways I mean, it's Rachel Berry."

Finn heard Rachel's breath hitch in the darkness. It was official, he wanted to kill Puck. "I don't care."

"What?"

Gripping him by the shoulders, Finn pushed Puck against the door. "I don't care if you tell anybody, ok? I'm not embarrassed by her or anything."

"Whatever Hudson, that's your problem. So is Quinn by the way. Does she know about your little janitor's closet make-out sessions with our favorite little miss outcast?"

"Get OUT Puck!" Opening the door, Finn pushed Puck out into the hall and shut it again. He growled in frustration. Puck was _too _good at being an asshole.

"Did you mean it?" Rachel's voice was small, unsure. Finn marveled at its ability to make his anger completely disappear in a second.

"Mean what?"

"What you said before. That you're not embarrassed to be with me?"

"I chased you down in the hallway didn't I? Everyone saw it. No, I'm not. I thought I was but I guess I was wrong. People can think what they want, screw them."

"What about Quinn?"

Finn sighed deeply. "As much as I hate to say this, I do feel like I owe it to Quinn to really set her straight. I don't want to be sneaking around; it makes me feel like an ass. And you deserve better than that too."

"OK." Rachel was silent for a moment. Suddenly she jumped. "Oh my God! I'm SO late for class! If this tarnishes my record I'm gonna be so mad at you Finn!"

Finn chuckled. "Hey, I'm gonna be late too. It was worth it though, right?"

Rachel smoothed her rumpled clothing and ran fingers through her long hair. Opening the door she turned to him and smiled. "We'll see."

He wanted to kiss her but stopped himself. Set things straight with Quinn first, they he could kiss her all he wanted.

For the rest of the day, Finn's brain mulled over the two women that were currently turning his life upside-down: Rachel and Quinn. With Rachel it was a good feeling, the type that involved butterflies and little pink hearts, aka the type of stuff football guys like himself shouldn't be prone to. But that's what she did to him, hence the whole driving-him-crazy thing. Quinn on the other hand made him feel like he was trapped in an alternate-reality where absolutely nothing made sense and that drove him crazy in an entirely different way.

Walking into 6th period Spanish he was absorbed in the dirty details. Should he break up with her before class? Would that be too awkward to sit with her glaring daggers into his back for the next forty-five minutes. After class? Before practice? At Glee?

"Hey ," he nodded at the Spanish teacher, smiling at him but as he turned to look at his desk his eyes widened in fear.

Quinn was sitting in her usual spot in the next row over and she was smiling at him. It was possibly the most terrifying sight he had ever encountered.

"H-h-hi, Quinn," he stuttered, suddenly feeling a lot like Tina.

"Hey babe!" Her enthusiasm terrified him even more.

Sitting down, Finn turned to face her. As he opened his mouth to speak, she cut him off.

"So Friday, I was thinking, instead of the movies we should doubled date with Santana and Puck."

"Uh.."

"And after that we can all go over and catch a late Church mass."

"Um I…"

"And then after _that_, you and I can go back to my place my parents are away for the weekend and…"

"Quinn!" Suddenly everyone in the class was looking at him, even Mr. Schuester. "Quinn," he said again, adjusting his voice to a more normal level.

"What?" She asked, clearly annoyed.

"I mean, first of all, there are so many things wrong with those plans I can't even…no, that's not the point of what I'm trying to say, forget that."

"Then, what's the point?" She stared at him.

"The point, the point… The point is," he said clearing his throat, "is that…I wannabreakupwithyou."

"What? What did you say?" Alarm was starting to spread across Quinn's perfectly composed features and Finn knew there was no turning back now.

"I want to break up with you" he said, more clearly. "It's just not working for us."

"You want, you want…" She looked like she was in a daze and suddenly unaware of her surroundings. Tears were starting to form in her eyes and Finn really felt like an ass.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I…"

Standing up quickly and knocking over her seat, Quinn grabbed her bag and rushed out of the room.

Finn let his head fall to his desk, exhaustion overcoming him. And the entire Spanish class watched it all with their mouths open the whole time.

The worst part was that Finn didn't feel as relieved as he thought he would. He thought that breaking up with Quinn would feel like a release. And wasn't it? He could date Rachel now. He could have the girl he really wanted.

But Quinn's tear-stained face was branded to his mind, searing him painfully every time he closed his eyes. He never wanted to make her feel like that. He never wanted to make anyone feel like that. And he had done the same thing to Rachel earlier.

Finn didn't think he deserved anyone.

"Fuck…" He groaned. It seemed like everything he did to make things better just made his situation worse.

And he still had to go to Glee practice after school.

Walking to the practice room, Finn could barely comprehend his surroundings. Everything looked like moving blurs and it was all he could do to keep himself from crumbling to the ground. He just felt like complete shit.

Standing in front of the door to the practice room Finn realized he just couldn't make himself go in there. Not today. Turning around he decided to go home.

"Finn! Wait Finn!"

Finn didn't turn around and it wasn't until Rachel physically planted herself in front of him that he stopped.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked, her eyes filled with a genuine concern.

Finn looked down at her. "I hurt people Rachel. I guess that's what I'm good at huh? You should just find somebody else."

"What? What are you talking about? You're a good guy Finn."

Finn's laughter was hollow. It echoed in the empty hallway. "Right." He easily moved Rachel to the side and continued walking until he was out the door. Since he didn't have a car Finn walked along the side of the school in the direction of his house."

"Damn it Finn, snap out of it!" Rachel seemed to appear out of nowhere, pulling him down and kissing him full on the lips.

His eyes widened but he didn't break the kiss. Instead he let his arms wrap around her and pressed her against the brick of the building.

When they pulled away Finn couldn't help but smile.

"Feel better?' Rachel asked, beaming.

"Maybe a little bit."

"C'mon let's go to practice." She took his hand.

"Ok" he resigned. Maybe things weren't so bad.


	6. All Falls Down

**Author's Note: Ok, ok I know it's been FOREVER. I just got sooo stuck on this story. Not guaranteeing a ton of chapters or anything but I was inspired so here you go. Read and review!**

Finn pushed Rachel deeper into the couch, unable to get enough of the feel of his mouth on hers. His hands couldn't stop touching her skin. It was so soft, like velvet. And she had been baking before she had come over so she smelled like cookies. Fucking cookies. If there was a more perfect specimen of woman on earth, Finn dared someone to find her.

It had been three weeks since they had started going out. Three fantastic, unbelievable weeks that made Finn feel like he was living in a dreamy haze that consisted only of stolen kisses between classes, make-out sessions in the back of the auditorium and goofy smiles that he couldn't seem to wipe off of his face.

Today he had decided to switch things up, inviting Rachel over to study for the Chem exam coming up. So there they were, on his couch, textbooks face open and completely forgotten, making-out like the world was ending tomorrow.

Finn shifted his body so that one of his legs was between both of Rachel's. She arched herself against him making Finn's hard-on strain against his jeans even more than it already was. He groaned. "Rachel…God." He had thought being with Quinn was torture but it was nothing compared to this. Sometimes she would just touch his chest, both of them completely clothed and it was a battle for him to overpower the sudden desire to rip all of her clothes off and have her right in the hallway. But she was a virgin and for that matter, so was he. Both of them knew rushing things was a bad idea.

But even so, Finn had to concentrate on exceptionally hard on that mailman rolling off the dashboard of his Mom's car to keep himself in line. He stopped kissing her for a moment, propping himself up on both of his arms. "Is something wrong?" Rachel stared up at him, her brown eyes looking concerned.

"No, totally not." It was just the opposite, really. For once everything seemed to line up and make sense. He had no doubts about anything and nothing that needed pining for. Being with Rachel felt so right it was almost scary. "I…uh, not to get all sappy or anything. And don't expect this to be like a thing that I do a lot or whatever but I want to say that I like you, Rach. Not that it wasn't obvious, you know, cause of the fact that we've been making out like, all the time. It is but I just thought that I should tell you, you know? You...uh, you make me really happy…is all." He blushed slightly and turned his head away from her, focusing on the floor of his living room. "Not to get all girly on you…ugh. I feel stupid now." Why? Why did he have to go and ruin everything with words all of the time? Slippery little bastards those words…

Rachel giggled and it was just a bubbly, perfect kind of sound that Finn couldn't help but smile at. One of her hands rested against his shoulder as she craned her neck up to brush her lips against his cheek. "I mean, maybe you were a little long-winded about it but please don't feel stupid. You make me happy too, so much. And anyways, it's not girly. Only real men can express their feelings, you know."

"Yeah but is this like when you told me that only real men wear pink? Cause, I'm still not buying that one no matter how hard you push it." A small fist hit his shoulder lightly but he just laughed, sitting back on his haunches and pulling her to him. "You know, we should probably start actually studying for this test because as of right now I'm seriously gonna fail."

"Lucky for you I've been prepared for this test since last Tuesday and I brought the comprehensive study guide I made when we had that free period gym last week."

Finn's eyebrows raised as he shuffled through the note cards that Rachel handed him. Her neat, elegant script filled card after card with information on each element in the periodic table. "Wow, these are ridiculous. Like, good ridiculous though. How do you even know all this, some of it isn't even in the text book?"

"Daddy proved very resourceful. He was a chemistry major in college."

He didn't say anything else but as they started studying the phrase "perfect woman" kept on flashing in his brain. Damn he was lucky.

The next morning Finn and Rachel entered McKinley High the way they had been doing for the past three weeks, hand in hand. For a moment Finn felt Quinn's icy gaze upon him but shrugged it away. He still felt bad about how things had ended sure, but the more time he spent with Rachel, the more obvious it was to him that he and Quinn were completely wrong for each other.

"I'll see you later." Rachel kissed him on the cheek before floating away towards her locker as he did the same.

Twisting his combination, Finn was interrupted by a loud slamming against the wall of lockers behind him. Turning, he found himself looking into the uncharacteristically serious eyes of Puck.

"Hey man," Finn offered. Puck hadn't done anything since the janitor's closet incident so they were on relatively good terms again, though he had noticed that Puck seemed to be pretty surely these days.

"Saw you walk in with Berry. How's that going these days? She's a total loser but damn if the girl doesn't have legs for miles. And she's always showing them off in those skirts…"

"Shut up, Puck. That's my girlfriend you're talking about."

"Right, right," he frowned. "You know man, after a few rounds in the sack, I suggest you drop her."

"What?"

"Don't get me wrong man, I love chicks. But," he paused then, his brow furrowing as if in deep thought. "You can't trust em' for shit. They're all just a bunch of evil spawn with great tits and asses. Especially the ones you think are safe, losers like Berry. They'll tear you apart in the end."

Finn was wary of the seriousness in Puck's voice so he didn't bother threatening him for calling Rachel a loser. It was weird because for as long as they had known each other he couldn't ever remember Puck taking anything serious. "Alright, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, I guess." Finn turned back around and continued with the combination of his locker.

The day progressed uneventfully until Finn got to Spanish. "Hola Mr. Schue" he said, waving at Mr. Schuester as he entered the room.

"Hola Finn! I'm glad to hear you actually using some Spanish in my class."

Finn smiled, taking his seat. A moment later Quinn walked in the room and sat down next to him. Unfortunately the seats they had taken in the beginning of the year were assigned for the entire school year. Since Quinn and Finn had been dating then, they of course had sat next to each other, both oblivious to the nasty break-up that was to come. Finn hadn't wanted it to be nasty but Quinn seemed to insist on it. After it had happened she had trash-talked him all over school and they had yet to engage in a conversation that didn't end with her cussing him out (in a Christianly manner of course) and storming away from him. Eventually he had given up. It had been a week and a half since either of them had said a word to the other.

Sighing, Finn reached into his bag and took out his Spanish textbook. Sitting back up, he was startled to find Quinn looking at him. "Finn," she said. "We need to talk."

"Ok, about the break-up?"

"No."

He was confused. "Then about what?"

"Rachel Berry."

"I thought you said you didn't want to talk about the break-up."

"I don't!" Quinn raised her voice for a moment but stopped, composing herself. "Look, there's a nasty rumor going around and…well, I just thought you should know."

"What is it?" Finn racked is brain but couldn't pre-empt a single thing for Quinn to tell him. Maybe Rachel got a gig in New York and would be moving away. God that would suck. But she would have told him that, right?

"There's a rumor going around that Rachel hooked up with Puck a few weeks back, right after you two started dating."

Finn started laughing. He couldn't help it the idea was so absurd. "You're kidding right?"

Quinn frowned, un-amused. "I'm not joking. There's video evidence."

Finn abruptly stopped laughing. "What?"

"Look for yourself." Quinn pulled out her phone, messing around with it for a moment before handing it to him. "Santana sent it to me. Apparently it's been going all around the school since this morning." Finn looked into Quinn's eyes and swore she saw a malicious happiness buried deep into her baby blues.

Glancing down at the phone, the still of the video made his heart start beating at a rapid pace. It was definitely Rachel, a sexy smirk plastered across her face. Against his better judgment, he touched the screen, pressing the play button. Music could be heard in the background and suddenly Rachel's voice added to the noise. "Yeah, there's something that I want to show you. A real good surprise." She was using a seductive low tone but her words were slightly slurred. "You're really gonna like this Puck."

Finn could hear his heart pounding in his ears now. Puck's voice came on. "Yeah? I bet I am baby. I hope it involves me getting you out of those clothes."

Rachel paused at the door, turning to him and looking into the camera. "Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Guess you'll just have to come in her and find out."

"That's what I'm talking about." The video stopped after Puck's words.

Finn stared down at it, suddenly finding it very hard to breathe. What the fuck was that? He had to talk to Rachel. Now.

"Apparently there's a second part to the video as well." Quinn's voice barely reached his ears.

Without another word to her, Finn stood up and bolted from the classroom, not stopping despite Mr. Schue's cries of protest.

There were a million thoughts bouncing around his head a mile a minute as he tore down the hallway. The first and most clear was that Rachel was in history class right now. He tried to push all of his thoughts away but found it impossible. How could she do this to him? Did he mean anything to her at all? Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding. Maybe it wasn't.

He burst into the AP American History class and suddenly found himself being stared at by a teacher and roomful of students.

"Finn?" He stared at Rachel sitting in the front row.

"I need to talk to you."

"But I'm in class and…"

"Now." There was an urgency in his voice that made her look worried.

"Ok." She turned to the teacher. "I'm truly sorry about this Mr. West, I'll just be a minute." She followed him out into the hall. Finn stared at her trying to make himself speak. "Well? What do you want to talk about?"

"How could you?" Finn said it suddenly and the frantic tone in his own voice made him cringe.

"How could I what? You're acting so strangely right now Finn, what's going on."

"You and Puck. I saw the video." He spit out the words hatefully.

Rachel's big brown eyes widened and she looked horrified. "How did you see that? He promised he wouldn't show…"

Finn cut her off. "So it's true." He felt sick, like he was going to puke up all of his insides and then melt into a puddle of nothing on the floor that the janitor would have to mop up and wring into a bucket.

"Please," her eyes were pleading with him now. "Let me explain." She reached out to touch his arm but he pulled it away, disgust written all over his face.

"We're done." Finn had never heard himself sound so cold but then again, he had never, not in his entire life, felt so awful.


End file.
